Lets just clear a few things up ok? Everything you know about me is a falsehood.

My real name is Perriwinkle Butterscotch Sunrise and i am hitching my way accross the country giving blowjobs to burly truck drivers. Yesterday I let someone snort blow off my ass while they peed on my head and I loved every second of it. I put itching powder in your bed and splinters in your coffee. I was the one who tore through the Garbage- not Bache. Every time there was a dirty dish in any household in the country- it was mine- and i didn't let it soak so its encrusted in pasta sauce. I'm the reason you were late for work. I'm the person who invented New Coke. I am responsible for all the roadkill you see on your way through town today. You know all those hurricanes- THAT WAS ME! You know the girl who "dun ya wrong"? Well I told her to. the 5th grade teacher who refused to call on you- My fault. world hunger? all me! matter of fact I killed an Indian last week and made him into a dandy little hat. Your pet bunny growing up? I made her into a KEY CHAIN.


That's right! I am the root of all your problems! Fear me! Joanie Perriwinkle Butterscotch Sunrise!